Enduring separation

“For puppies to develop a confident adult attitude with sufficient security and emotional stability to enable them to cope when they must be left alone, owners should follow the lead of canine mothers by gradually weaning the puppies, so that they acquire a healthy sense of self security and independence.” (Lindsay, 2001)

Not only is it important to gradually expose our pups to being alone but ideally you work on this well before 12 weeks as whilst you absolutely can teach a dog to endure separation after this age, studies have shown it is harder.

Crate training is great to begin the process and as well as helping build security in being alone its assists with house training and managing your pup’s chewing of unwanted items.

In fact dogs have a natural tendency to create den’s so if taught right your dog will love their crate. Have you noticed how they often go under the table anyway?

However, you could use a pen or just your kitchen but if doing that you want a baby gate so you can step away from your pup without them following them and without you fully shutting a door on them quite yet.

• Please note you CANNOT leave a dog for too long before they are ready for it. It is all about positive gradual exposure.

Therefore, if I was getting a new pup home I would start with this straight away.

Objective:

Associate the crate (or place of choice) as a wonderful secure place where treats, love, attention and toys happen for being calm quiet and settled and use this to build your pup up to being happily alone in a safe space where they cant destroy your home. 

(It is not a place for punishment when they have been too much.)

Steps:

 Introduce your dog slowly at their own pace. Don’t just stick ‘em in there and hope for the best!

1. First have the door of the crate/ pen / kitchen open throw treats in and let your dog go in and out at their will. (So if getting a puppy home for the first time, try and pick up in the am so you can start this before bedtime.) *For a dog already weary of a crate you may want to throw treat in and step back to show you won’t lock them in and / or try another option such as a pen with crate inside it. Repeat many times and then stop and start again after a break.

2. They don’t need to go fully in to get the treat to start with but build up to that by putting the treat right at the back. Feed each meal in their too. Bowls they can’t pick up and take out is a good idea and is keeps them in there longer.

3. Once they are happy going in and staying in whilst being treated it’s time to shut the door. Treat for being calm and quiet then open it before they have to ask for it to be opened. This will literally be half a second to begin with. For already weary dogs you may need to add in steps of just touching door and then half-closing door before you fully close it.

DURATION

Now they are going in happily going in and happy with the door being shut build up to them staying shut in for longer. Start with 1s and open before they ask for it. Repeat with 2,s, 5s, 20s, 30,s 1 min, 2 mins. 5 mins, 10 mins, 20 mins, etc but don’t increase continually i.e:

Repetition 1: 1second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds.

Repteition 2: 2 seconds 3 seconds 4 seconds 5 seconds.

Repetition 3: 1 seconds, 2 seconds, 3 seconds (an easy win)

Repetition 4: 3 seconds, 4 seconds, 5 seconds, 6 seconds etc

You have already taught the crate is a place of treats and good things. You are now helping them endure separation but also teaching being calm and quiet is the only way to come out.

You can eventually have them in the crate for 1hr 30 mins to 4hrs whilst you calmly continue working on your laptop or whatever. Once duration is sorted move to distance.

Distance

To work on distance, shut them in for 1s and take a step away, then come back whilst they are calm and quiet. Then 2 steps and return whilst they are still calm and quiet. Now 3 steps and return, 4 steps and return, and take a break.

Then 2 steps, 3 steps, and 4 steps.

Then 1 step, 2 steps, 3 steps.

YOU ARE HELPING THEM GET IT RIGHT. DON’T TEST THEM BY OVERDOING IT AND CREATE EASY WINS AS ABOVE.

Continue increasing increments but also go back and take lots of breaks until you can get out of the house or upstairs with them staying calm and quiet.

Once they are happy with you walking away and coming back you can combine duration and distance so you are going out of sight for longer periods until you can go to the theatre or sleep through the night, your dog comfortable that you will return.

Adding an in and out Cue

 Once you dog is happy popping in and out on their own you can also add an in and out cue by saying ‘go to crate’ half a second before throwing the treat in, when they thus do go in, say your Reward Mark e.g Good, and treat. Repeat many times over many short trials if you want to do this.

Next give your cue but delay delivery of the treat until they go in or at least make a step towards going in. Repeat many times over many short trials until your dog goes in on cue without luring with a treat and thus only getting the treat after they have complied.

Having done that you can do the same for exiting the crate by adding a cue e.g ‘out you come’ throwing the treat on the floor outside of the crate. Repeat and then phase out giving the treat so coming out is the reward instead.

This can be useful as an alternative behaviour to unwanted behaviour down the line. Also see on Your Mat.

POSISTIONING & CRATE SIZE

If using a crate, go with a wire crate as they are safer and big enough for your dog to turn round in but not too big so its cosy.

Place it in a room you hang out in i.e kitchen. If you put it in a random room like the basement then you’ll have to wokr on piositive association with that space as opposed to already having it in the kitchen and you’ll therefore need to spend time down there too.

Think of it like a 2yr old, happy in their room but anxious if shutting them off somewhere random.

TROUBLESHOOTING

Other Applications

You may want to now practice go to crate, every time door bell goes or every time you have dinner or are cooking or opens the dishwasher as an alternative to unwanted behaviours like jumping up at the dinner table.

FAQ’s & Tips

If on the first night you wish to start with the crate by your bed, then no problem and build up to it being further away in the kitchen.

Alternatively you may put the puppy in a pen with puppy pads and the crate in it until such time they are ready to be fully in the crate.

When working on duration, feel free to just sit by the crate working on your laptop whilst they are in there.

Give them stuff to do in the crate e.g a frozen kong so they are happy in there and you improving the association with the crate. * Note if they are super anxious they won’t eat. In which case make sure you are gradually exposing them to this alone time and if having issues get in touch.

A hot water bottle wrapped in a jumper worn by you is supposed to be comforting, they even make soft toys with heart beats in them though not so good if they are already a serious chewer. That being said I have never noticed that those things make a huge difference but if you want to.

Do not push them further than they are ready!

However if they do whine, do not let your dog out whining or you teach them to whine to get out and get attention but equally don’t leave them to cry all night. The old school approach of let them cry it out will too often make them go from isolation stress to actual separation anxiety.

If you have gone too quickly and they are crying too long, I’d go in when there is a slight break in the crying and repeat the earlier gradual exposure steps.

When you do, stay calm and give no attention, no eye contact etc. Such praise is reserved for calm quiet behaviour.

Do I really need to Crate Train?

Dogs naturally want to be with you, we need to teach them to be secure alone to live our own lives but also to bring up a secure and confident dog. Insecure, dependent dogs have many more behaviour problems down the line, including reactivity. Becoming confident alone in a big room or house is a big task, so start with a little one, the crate or pen or at least kitchen and build up. In a similar way this really helps with house training. Teach your dog to not pee in their crate first, then, the pen, then kitchen, then your house and so on rather than expecting them to understand the whole big home in one go. The crate naturally helps with this as dogs don’t tend to mess in their den, where they sleep.

Can’t they sleep on the bed?

Dog’s not exposed to alone time prior to 12 weeks of age find it a lot harder to adapt later on so crack on! Guy et al (2001)’s trials found that allowing a puppy to sleep on the bed during the first few months of ownership was associated with an increase risk of aggression problems later on but here’s my view:

If you want them in the room or on the bed go for it, why not. I think the issue is if they are with you all day and with you all night then they are not having any gradual exposure to alone time, s one way or other you need to work out how to do that as opposed to being with them for ages and then suddenly not being with them for ages.

How long till they need to pee?

For young puppies think 1 hr per month of age. Though their systems shut down when asleep so they theoretically can do the whole night if they sleep through. However, if they wake up they may well need to go. In this case it’s unfair and unproductive to expect them to wait. Therefore do your best to place the crate where they won’t be woken. If they are you can take them out for a pee but give no attention, not even eye contact and then straight back inside. If they don’t pee after being outside and a little movement, pop them back in the crate. If waking up for a pee happens again I would advise you set your alarm to let them out before they ask, find a quieter spot for the crate, do more training in the day to work the mind and make them sleep better. Equally, if you are using the pen, crate set up and they pee on a puppy pad once at night but during the day you have removed pads and they are doing them all outside just so you get some sleep, then so be it.

What you absolutely must not do is respond to your dog whining and barking for attention! If you let them scream for 4hrs and then come to them you’ve just taught them to scream for 4hrs. Moreover letting a young puppy be anxious for such a horrible amount of time is only going to make matters far worse!

Instead, set yourself up for success as above so you don’t end up in that situation. Helping your puppy get it right in GRADUAL STEPS!!!!!!

If you unfortunately do get to a point where they are in distress, vocalising etc, try and see if there is a gap in this behaviour after a little ignoring and choose that moment to let them out and then begin the process again with smaller steps.

Your goal is for them not to be distressed through gradual positive exposure.

If it’s attention seeking that is persisting for too long a time a little bang on the other side of the room door they are in can interrupt the behaviour to give you a moment to go back in but if they are anxious this won’t help and don’t shout at them or punish them or you’ll only fuel their anxiety.

If this is not working or your dog is really distressed book an appointment so we can help!

Remember……

REINFORCE WHAT YOU LIKE IGNORE WHAT YOU DON’T LIKE!

YOU CAN’T ASK A DOG WHAT NOT TO DO, ONLY WHAT TO DO!